Virtually Deviant

My workplace is now able to track the websites we visit, so I'm not able to make new posts as often anymore. So it's been two months. What has happened? Sexually, not much. We use Natural Family Planning to track when my wife is fertile and infertile. Our sexual activity during her two cycles in May and June was almost identical. With each cycle, we had sex just three times while she was infertile and oral sex twice while she was. Her most recent cycle wasn't easy to read, so we ended up having sex only once.

The irony is that her big case for us to use NFP originally, apart from her being Catholic and knowing that condoms make Jesus cry, was so she wouldn't have to be putting drugs in her body all of the time. And I can understand that. I hardly ever take medicine. I find that ailments tend to go away on their own, given time. Well I would bet half of the reason her cycle was so screwed up was because of the other nonbirth control drugs that she does take. She always seems to be struggling with one health issue after another. She takes drugs for migraines, drugs for acne, drugs for recurring sinus infections. Meanwhile I just eat and poop. Breathe in and breathe out. And my penis is always loaded and ready to fire.

So this is how it is and how it will be. My sex drive will always be stronger than my wife's. The greatest amount of sexual attention she can give me will never be enough. I will always look forward to moments of privacy for the sake of looking at pornography. I will experience times when I feel very close to my wife, and feel all of the love I think I should. Other times I'll suspect deep down that there is someone better for me out there. Like a blonde atheist nymphomaniac.

You know what turns me on? Sexual deviance. I don't mean infidelity or weird sex. Just that sense that someone would not approve of the sex you are having. See, the sex I have with my wife is predominantly at home in bed, and where any sex is good sex, my fondest memories are of fucking in places you shouldn't get caught fucking. My wife doesn't star in most of those memories. Once she and I fucked in a county park and that was nice.

She doesn't really share my need for sexual adventure. I think in her mind she's very sexual. But the last time I got her to wear lingerie for me, she just shook her head as she put it on, like she didn't understand the attraction. She thinks road head is too dangerous. At the thought of having sex in the ocean, she says "ew." My need still persists, however, and often I think I'm on a very gradual path toward greater sexual deviance.

Where up until recently the most deviant thing I ever tried online was voice chatting with virtual hookers on SecondLife, a few weeks ago I played on a webcam with one. I had been thinking about it for a long time. There is one chick who just looks amazing. She wasn't available when I had the time, but I had fun with someone just as good. It only costed about $15 for 10 minutes, and I paid for it with money I got from selling virtual clothes. Now that I've tried this, I wonder what I'll try next.