The End

This blog is over and done with. It has been useful. It helped me see the way sexual intimacy can ebb and flow in a marriage. I guess I was always secretly hoping that I would discover some new perspective or find the right attitude to make my situation easier. That, of course, in lieu of identifying some experimental drug or hairstyle or spot on my wife's body that would instantly turn her into a carefree nymphomaniac.

But it is as good as it gets now, and I don't say that with any downtrodden tone. It's actually pretty decent. Because recently, for the past few weeks I would say, we've been in love. We haven't been arguing or at each other's throats. I feel like we accept one another's differences and even appreciate them. We went on a vacation up in the mountains of North Carolina and got along like we were made for each other. And I know it will change sometime. One of us will say or do something and it will turn sour again. That's just the way it goes.

I still want the things that I want (ie: random spontaneous blowjobs) but those are probably unrealistic expectations, and holding on to them would just be a recipe for resentment. The gist of everything I wrote here seemed to be that I wanted my wife to make more of an effort and pay me more sexual attention. But I have to acknowledge that I don't do everything I could or should either. There are a lot of things I need to work on all on my own. The endless pursuit of hedonistic bliss is empty. It won't make our marriage stronger or make me a better person. So, the end.