Four Minutes

I'm so fucking aggrivated. Last week my wife took two days off from work to help a friend in Tallahassee with her wedding. My wife was her matron of honor. That's all well and good. I'm not aggrivated about that. I always look forward to the prospect of having some time to myself, but if I thought I was going to have any, I was deluding myself. Between my Dad's birthday, Easter, and this fucking wedding, I was booked.

So my wife left on Wednesday night. I went to work as usual on Thursday. My parents were going to come out to my house after work for an early dinner since my Mom had to go to a training class nearby. The class was cancelled, but I knew they were looking forward to visiting, so I invited them out anyway. My Dad was turning 70 years old on Friday so I shopped for birthday presents right after work on Thursday. I didn't have much time though, I needed to get home and meet them for dinner. I didn't find all of the presents I wanted to get, but I ran home and made my folks some hamburgers. They had a good time. Fortunately they left early enough for me to go out and find one last present. I would have birthday shopped sooner but it always seems to take a crowbar to get gift ideas out of my parents.

Friday was going to be a long day so I went to bed as soon as I got home. I didn't even look at any smut although it was a prime opportunity with the wife out of town. I had Friday off from work since it was Easter weekend. Even though we'd just had dinner together the night before, I had invited my parents out for breakfast. Because of the stupid wedding events, I was going to have to leave for Tallahassee in the afternoon, so I wouldn't be able to see my Dad on his birthday otherwise. So we had a nice breakfast at a local restaurant and my folks stuck around while I packed. Dad liked his presents and was appreciative of the time we got to spend together.

Before I left town I needed to get my coworker's paycheck to him. I don't know why he doesn't have direct deposit like everyone else in the world. But he's been out of work following a sports injury that led to his spleen being removed. When we got our paychecks on Thursday, I took his and called him and his wife to see if they wanted me to deliver it to them somewhere. No one had called me back by Friday, so I decided to just bring it to their house in St. Augustine. The house was empty, so I slid it under their door. By the time I got home, I was running short on time. I needed to get on the road by 12:30pm at the latest in order to make the 3 hour drive to Tallahassee, drop off our dogs at my in-laws' house, get changed into nicer clothes and then drive to the wedding rehearsal at 4pm. I left without a moment to spare and made it to the rehearsal before my wife and the bride arrived. I was proud of myself.

I really missed my wife and I was very happy to see her. I helped her with whatever I could, but spent most of the time sitting around feeling self-conscious. I'm generally a shy person and I tend to feel self-conscious around strangers. There were some other husbands in the same situation, though, so there were some people I could talk to. Next was the rehearsal dinner. There again, I was stuck sitting with a bunch of people I didn't know, while my wife sitting at the wedding party's table enjoying herself. Some enjoy meeting new people, but I really dread those kinds of social situations. I knew it was important to my wife, though, so I didn't complain and I just played the part. Three beers helped.

Afterward I went back to my in-laws' house while she went to stay in a nice hotel suite with the bride and bridesmaids. They had plans to have some kind of bachelorette party, but the Marriot fucked up their reservation and they ended up spending most of the night just trying find a place to stay. I would never wish any difficulty on my wife, but as a concerned husband, I was glad to hear there wasn't much of a party. It's really rare that my wife has too much to drink. The few times that she has, it's been with girlfriends. She and I have been married for almost 4 years now, together for 7, and I have yet to see her drunk. It makes me a little jealous. Sometimes the girl I know isn't that much fun.

After the rehearsal and dinner, six hours in all, I felt like I had celebrated my wife's friend's marriage enough. Yay, you're married, good for you. You know, I really don't like you that much. It might be more accurate to say that I tolerate you for my wife's sake. But the main fucking event was Saturday, another block of six hours to linger in one spot wearing uncomfortable clothes feeling self-conscious. Even though I got to spend a little more time with my wife, I still felt starved for her attention. As the matron of honor, she obviously had shit she needed to do, and I didn't want to be her shadow. But even when we were together, she wasn't looking at me very much. I would look at her and she wouldn't return a glance. It made me feel even more lost. So all I could do was look forward to the limo shuttling the bride and groom off and getting back to our normal life already.

When it was all over my wife drove me over to my car. Driving past the only white Corolla around she asked if it was my car. I joked that it was, you could tell from the layer of dirt on it. In an annoyed tone she remarked, "oh, would you get that headlight cover fixed and get that air filter so we can change the oil?" Her voice indicated that she felt I had taken much too long to complete those tasks. It was a simple remark, but it sounded like it shot out from a part of her that thinks I'm no good. Like it was just one of many things I haven't done right and never do right. And after pissing away what would have been some valuable free time and swallowing all of my insecurities for the last two days, I didn't need to be made to feel like a burden. I needed a gold star. A reward. Some freaking acknowledgement. I thought about what to say, and "fuck you" was all that came to mind, so I kept it to myself. I just got in my car and drove off.

We stayed at her parents' place that night. The weight of the remark lightened and my true feelings surfaced: I was excited to have her back. I playfully swiped her pillow when we were sitting on the couch that night and she had no good humor about it. She was genuinely angry with me. Fine. Treat me like I'm an asshole. Over the course of the weekend I'll only drive 6 hours to attend 3 wedding events for your stupid annoying friend, missing my Dad's 70th birthday party by the way, I'll go to Easter mass with you and your family on Sunday even though I'm a fucking atheist, I'll make nacho dip on Saturday night and then help prepare an Easter dinner on Sunday because your Mom is too lazy to cook, and I'll help your parents lay heavy patio stones in their back yard, but you're right, I am a gigantic asshole. I still missed you for some reason and I'm thinking that you're probably just worn out and need a good night's sleep. So go ahead and get some rest, I'll be awake with a rock hard erection most of the night because I haven't had an orgasm since last Wednesday, and now, to help take my mind off of that fact, I have a gorgeous naked girl sleeping quietly next to me. Sweet fucking dreams!

I spent Sunday thinking about fucking. I took the opportunity to shower in the morning with my wife. I knew nothing would happen. She wanted us to go to the early Easter mass at ten o'clock, so with only two hours to wash and dry her hair, put on her make up and clothes, then drive to the church that is 15 minutes away, we might just get there on time, if she rushed. I forget that the attention she devotes to her appearance is purely for her own vanity and has little to do with looking sexually attractive for me. I spent the hour at church looking at other girls' tits. My wife wore a dress and looked good, though. Even better in a tight pair of jeans and a gray shirt after the service. She layed flat on her belly on the living room floor to read the paper and I could have fucked her right there in front of her parents. I told her I was going to take a bite out of her when we got home. Her response didn't indicate any interest or disinterest.

Usually we don't leave her parents' house until late, but this time she insisted that we leave at 6:30pm so we wouldn't get home too late. After driving for a while I felt like we hadn't talked much since the wedding ended, so I called her cell phone. She said she was already talking to her girlfriend in Phoenix. Well that's good. I was beginning to think you were running out of ways to make me feel insignificant. I tossed the phone on the passenger seat. She talked to her friend for an hour before she called me back. I shouldn't have answered it, but like a dunce, I was still hoping for a piece of ass when we got home. I was short with her. She talked about flying out to Phoenix to visit the friend she was talking to, or having her come and visit us and have us pay for all of her food because she's been blowing all of her money on liquor and sushi, or hey, what about driving back to Tallahassee the weekend after next to spend more time with her friend that just got married? All great ideas, don't you think?

We got home and unpacked our cars. I made the bed for us, something I normally don't do, and I unloaded the dishwasher. She cleaned out the litter pan, one of her chores, and annoyed with me again, she asked if I cleaned the mat underneath the pan while she was away. I told her about all of the things I had to do on Thursday and Friday. How I fed her fish and refilled their tank even though she didn't ask me to, how I did the dishes before I left, and returned the movies we had rented. She seemed to understand. I tried to entice her to come to bed sooner than later by offering a massage. She was annoyed with me yet again because I had accidentally reset our alarm clock while she was away. I earnestly told her that I tried to be careful with it but I made a mistake. She finally lied down naked. I rubbed her shoulders and back for a while. It was just a cheap ploy to get my hands on her bare ass. I did her legs and feet, too, but the more I looked at her naked ass the more I wanted it. I kissed her neck and she said she immediately said that she needed to go to bed. I said I needed something else. I don't know if I ever felt so full of lust. My heart was pounding. I needed her so badly. She said she was really tired. I begged her, saying it wouldn't take long. She looked desperate and sad. She would have let me do it, though. I said, "God, why do you look so sad? We don't have to if you don't want to."

I don't understand. I really try hard to please her. Doesn't that come through? What did I do to make the thought of sex with me so horrible? I got under the covers. She snuggled up to me. I wanted nothing to do with her. I stayed awake for hours thinking one bitter thought after another. I considered getting out of bed and looking at pornography, but why should I have to? I have a healthy desire for my spouse. How is it selfish of me, after four days apart, to wish that she longed for me, too? Even if she felt no desire for sex, would it really be so burdensome to act interested for me? I acted interested all fucking weekend! Does she take no pleasure in pleasing me? How is it fair that her friend gets her waiting on her every request for four fucking days and I can't have four minutes?