Red Gloves

I finally got my Valentine's Day present on Sunday, March 9th. In the morning she put on the red bra and panty set and called me back to bed. There was a pair of lace up red gloves that she bought for Halloween last year and never opened, so I asked her to wear those, too. I tried to give her some foreplay, but she didn't seem very interested. I would have liked some foreplay in return, but I didn't ask for it, so I didn't get any. It was still some quality sex, she got two orgasms out of it so I was proud of myself.

Anytime we have sex is good, I would never pass it up, but the sex we have now is fairly boring. She doesn't seem to want to touch my cock beforehand. Usually she wants to get right to fucking, so there's no anticipation. And lately she's just been lying on her back. She oohs and ahhs, kisses me, but that's the extent of her participation. I haven't said anything about it to her, so I don't expect it to change. When I imagine talking to her about it, I just see her getting defensive and sad, so I leave it alone. It's good enough that we are having sex regularly.

Leading up to the infertile phase of her cycle she asked me to initiate sex with her during the day. So we spent all of Saturday at home together and I imagined approaching her several times, but I could only see her preferring to finish what she was doing, rejecting me and making me angry. So I left her alone. I told her on Sunday that I had considered it, and she agreed that she was busy the entire day. For the most part, I feel like I have very little control of our sex life, so when she said that she wanted me to initiate sex during the day, I considered it one of those things that she only thinks she wants.

I've tried a few times to let her know that I'd like to be more open with her, that I'd like to talk more about us and less about the day's events, but her responses have always made it clear that I'm alone in that desire. Things are OK with us, though. We don't argue very much. We enjoy each other's company. I think in the past I've blown some things out of proportion here. I don't think I want our marriage to end. I think we're as close to one another as most spouses are. I think differences in sexuality are extremely common for married couples and there is nothing exceptional about us. I think if I'm not happy with some aspect of my wife's personality, I'm the one that married her. It was my responsibility to address it or accept it a long time ago.

And I'm sure I still have sex more frequently now than I would if I were single. I still love and absolutely cherish my wife's body (even though she cut her hair shorter recently). If things are as good as they will ever get with us, they really aren't so bad. The conclusion I have drawn is that if I ask my wife to honor a wish that is very important to me, experience tells me there is a good chance that she won't, and then I will resent her for it. If I don't ask her to honor that wish, the only person neglecting me is me.