Completely Gone

Up until last night, things were going well. My wife and I had a good weekend together. We took our dogs for a long walk in a state forest, played some video games together and did some yardwork. These last few days at the office have been fine, too. I feel more content than I have in a while, and I think it's solely because my wife and I had sex Saturday morning. Looking at the NFP chart, it has been like 20 days since the last time. We've fooled around in other ways between then and now, but each time it was my idea.

Yesterday morning my wife remarked we should have another go after work. I was looking forward to it, but for some reason I got completely drunk as soon as I got home from work. Sometimes I might have a beer after a tough day at work, but there really isn't anything that I'm worried about. I definitely wasn't planning to get drunk, but I did all the same. Lately I've been talking to my wife about me working part time instead of full time in order to have more time to do freelance web work, sell some photography or maybe sell artwork. She has been supportive of the idea, but I guess I am worried about failing. I was very aware as I got home that I was faced with free time which I haven't had in a while. I thought about choosing some photos to print or working on some artwork, but I poured a vodka tonic instead. If there was something else good to drink in the refridgerator, like my favorite MinuteMaid limeaid, I probably would have had that instead.

Then I thought it would be funny to see how long it would take my wife to notice I was tanked. When she got home, I was doing the dishes. I did some laundry, made dinner for us and we ate at our table together and watched TV. Well, I pretended to. All I could see was two of everything. It wasn't until we were working on our computers and I responded to a question strangely enough that she looked me in the eye and said, "What's the matter?" I told her that I was completely gone, which made her aggrivated I suppose. She seemed to think I had gotten drunk because of her, but I told her she had nothing to do with it. I said that people just need to get toasted sometimes, and she disagreed. We still walked the dogs together but didn't talk much. There have been times when I've been brutally honest when I'm drunk and talking to her, but I think I was polite as ever last night. The last thing I remember was getting back home and sitting down on the couch. I woke up there this morning feeling fairly nauseous, but I'm just a little bit dizzy now.

In hindsight I would have rather had a normal evening and some sex. I just gave myself a strong reminder that it isn't much fun to feel hungover. I'd almost like to get rid of the vodka and whiskey and just keep rum in the house. I haven't heard from my wife all day and usually she will call me once or twice. She just texted me a short while ago asking if I needed anything from the grocery store. At first I said no, but then I asked her to pick me up some limemaid.